pandoras_boxset

got season 4 of doctor who for the birthday :D

listening to christmas music and drinking butterscotch hot chocolate in over-air-conditioned rooms makes me feel better about the fact that it's 105 degrees everyday.

surgery consultation- august 20th. uck =/

if the shitty healthcare system the u.s. isn't enough to make me wish i could pack up and move to europe, then the shitty educational system is a close second. throw in our shitty economy and you've got quite the winner. uck.

anyway, finally went to an internist and got a few helpful prescriptions, have an appt. monday to check out my gallbladder. fun stuff. sadly, had to postpone my chicago trip due to financials. i miss living there so badly! southern mentality and i absolutely do not mesh well. and triple digit weather every damn day feels like living in hell, literally.

hp midnight showing in 4 days :]

+ saw star trek!
+ david sedaris.
+ textsfromlastnight.com

- my parent's landlord.
- texas.
- most republicans.

"you might deny it but you're tied to your desires, and you're selfish. you're selfish just like everyone else."

i think i've been shopping too much? especially since i only buy things that i can't wear to work...and i work all the time so the things i buy never get worn. sad. finally bought matcha powder so i can make soy green tea ice cream. we now have a (free) place to stay in london for the 2012 summer olympics! :D thank god, a 2-3 week rental apartment would've really dipped into our spending money. i still cannot get used to this routine- the "daily grind". days that are the same every day, every week, every month. i want every day to be different. i don't always want to wake up in the same city, saying good morning to the same people, walking through the same doors and driving the same streets. it makes it all so meaningless.

bear grylls is so ridiculously amazing. there probably isn't a cooler job title that you could have than "professional adventurer". am i right?

chai tea time.

i'm not a "people person". the more i try to accept the flaws of others, the more i realize how ignorant people are. i don't want to sit around with shitty people while they drink shitty beer and talk about shitty meaningless things. and this whole 8-5 bullshit is so pointless. i need to get out. i need to travel.

i purchased mrs. doubtfire on vhs yesterday for 99 cents from goodwill. :D

jessica will be here fridayyyyy. yay! i really want to go berry-picking!

after FINALLY seeing the 1962 version of To Kill A Mockingbird, i am thoroughly ashamed that i've never read the book. the film is absolutely amazing. hmm...speaking of movies/tv, my lovely sister bought me season 2 of carnivale for christmas and i've still yet to make time to watch it =/ this needs to be remedied. lately i just cannot stop thinking about how bad i want to plant a garden- although, to be honest, i'm probably far too impatient to wait for everything to grow. i'd reenact the scene from 'the garden-frog and toad together' where frog gets close to the ground and starts yelling "NOW SEEDS, START GROWING!" but who knows, maybe it would be therapeutic.

+ giordanos delivers across the country! YES! chicago deep-dish, i'll have you sooner than i thought. :]
+ chris tomlin was unbelievably great. [eeek, and so adorable too! especially when he sang in russian]
+ i'm going to find a way to go to the passion 2010 conference in georgia.
+ robert fulghum's brilliance.

- being allergic to amoxicillin.
- that ridiculous octo-mom. ugh.
- sick of being sick!
- good grief my hair is hopeless.

hm...79 degrees at 7:30p.m...not too bad :]

! happiness.
...is never losing your childish enthusiasm.

! live presently.
...guilt is living in the past and fear is living in the future.

! namaste.
... the divine light in me honors the divine light in you.

! taking it easy.
...live simply so others may simply live.

+ tenth avenue north, jason mraz, ray lamontagne.
+ veggie crisps, cupcake pops.
+ reading yoga journal.
+ jessica is visiting next month!
+ watching the airplanes.
+ raw texas wildflower honey.
+ plum tea, sugar cubes.
+ 'get over it' on dvr.
+ chris tomlin in 11 days.
+ slumdog millionaire soundtrack.
+ picture texts from good friends.
+ missing people.

- missing people/missing chicago.
- not having insurance.
- expensive ultrasounds.
- unknown illness combined with strep throat. FML!
- finances.
- fucking dogs barking.
- idiots.
- no green tea ice cream, no concord grapes.
- no h&m, no urban outfitters.
- no inspiration/motivation/desire to photograph.
- bad timing.

idk idk.

please don't fight these hands that are holding you.

there are hardly words to express the absolute, delirious happiness that gripped me today. watching every single bit of that inauguration, i was GLUED to the t.v. i am, for the first time in 8 years, proud of america and it's ability to collectively think into action something that is irreversible and transcends racial barriers. in a world that is ruled by minority phobias, on the steps of buildings that were built by slaves- it is almost hard to believe it's real. i'll be the first to admit i can't even remember the names of half the presidents- the ones no one ever talks about. but good, great, bad, awful, anything- no matter what obama becomes known for, he will ALWAYS be known. he will always be the face of such a historic time of change. my thoughts are so insane right now they can't even be constructed intelligently. i am so excited still. for the first time in a long while, we aren't the "stupid americans." other countries are actually proud of us. children in foreign countries stayed up until all hours of the morning to watch OUR president get sworn in. to know that people globally consider today a "new day", to know that the obama/biden dream team brings as much hope to them as to us- it's just beyond comprehension. :D

a few high points:
<3 cnn's golden boy/the silver fox anderson cooper's repeated mentioning of how chief justice roberts screwed up the oath. lmao.
<3 the little obama girls, how cute! and michelle obama is so fierce, srsly. we now have the best looking first family since the kennedys.
<3 cnn, i commend you on choosing an announcer who thought he was at a monster truck rally/wrestling match. i couldn't hold in my giggles.
<3 that crowd. almost 2 MILLION. i would've sold a kidney to be there! it was beautifulllll.
<3 who am i kidding, the ENTIRE thing was amazing. :D

all of my other thoughts are lost. i guess it'll have to wait until next time.

i have been drooling over these shoes for too long, but the black croc, not the green.



jimmy choo, why must you taunt me with $1,300 shoes?




i regret wasting four years of my life on college.

it has been a truly shit year and it is rapidly coming to a close. despite the awful quality it possessed, i can't say i am entirely glad to be rid of it just yet- the new year is a big deal that is turned into an even bigger deal due to the ridiculous emphasis some people place upon it. maybe it's all those years of schooling, but to me the "year" always seems to begin when summer is over and end when summer begins- as if summer is an actual vacation from a calendar year. well anyway, the actual new year is still unavoidable, stressful and weird. 2009. already? i want to patch up my mishaps BEFORE the year ends, to begin the year content. not make "resolutions" of things that have yet to be fixed, not to start off the year needing to change.

things that always make my heart swell:
-birds flying in V-formations.
-tchaikovsky's "pas de deux".
-all of sigur ros' music videos.
-bumble slippers.
-le petit prince & anything relative to this. [ily julez! thank youuu<3

things that are currently making my heart swell:
-charlotte bronte's 'jane eyre'.
-a certain boy who makes me blush far more than i ought too.
-i actually like my job? haha.

:[ on a sadder note: i love you grampa, and i'm going to miss you.

i want to move to austin.

just give me something to believe.

nothing is fun anymore.

i took a walk the other day and almost got lost. all of the houses here look the same. and then thursday night i went to the city for a show and i felt so much more at ease. it was like snapping out of a daze. being in the city was invigorating. and so was see this prov. :]

hm. i have a full-time job at macy's now. i'm conflicted about this really. on one hand, i KNOW i absolutely need the money. but on the other hand, my hours won't be structured like they were at delphi, and i'm definitely not enough of a free-spirit to be able to get used to that very quickly. also, i'm quite sad that i have to put college on hold after getting so far, and can't have a job in my major yet. however, i don't have to drive on any of those monstrous superhighways to get to work, so that's a large plus. all in all, i'm thankful to have a job.

i miss chicago sort of. and i miss home? well, i don't know if "home" was michigan or chicago, or neither. i always call places "home" but they never feel like home. this whole hurricane business has me fascinated, but in an entirely out-of-sorts way. tornados-check. earthquake-check. hurricanes-?whaaa? it's weird that it's so close. it's very unsettling. a newsman just literally blew away on the weather channel. i mean, he's hooked to some harness thing, but he flew like 5 feet before he could even get back up. hmmm.

"i miss the years when we were young, innocent and so naive."

there's a lot i thought i was going to say. and now it just doesn't seem to matter i guess.

2 more weeks of chicago! eeek. i'm kind of really nervous. so much is going to change this summer...
i'm so happy strawberries are in season. i am going to overdose on them.
i can't wait for the new X-Files movie. seriously, having to wait is intensely trying my patience.
in other ridiculousness, i simply cannot comprehend why trix stopped making their cereal shaped like fruit?!
now they're just boring ass circles. lame? yes.
i think after i get done with the other fitzgerald novel i want to read the rest of jane austen's novels. i'm in
a classics mood. :]
i want a trampoline. i can't believe the one at my parents house bit the dust. r.i.p half of my childhood. =/
now i think i'm going to go chill in front of a fan while listening to Vienna on repeat and painting my nails.
woooo for summer!

yoga was good today.
and it's finally warm. 47 degreesssssss<3

i have so much psych homework.
yuck.